We think it's all about the pretty sales pages, the smooth words and the perfect script. But even if you managed to pull those learned skills off perfectly, you still wouldn't sell anything and you'd be kicking yourself and undoubtedly asking damaging questions like "what did I do wrong", "what's wrong with me", "where am I lacking" and scrambling to be and do "ENOUGH".
This is why I'm not just one of those HARD STRATEGY type of coaches, focusing on the perfect way to structure your techy pieces to get clicks or whatever. Obviously those types of teachers have massive value and they are extremely clever and skilled in their craft.... but I believe that no matter how perfect you have that stuff down, it won't work (at least not for long, and it won't fulfill you or make you happy) if you don't have the underlying energetics in place.
Unfortunately a lot of women end up working with products / courses / mentors who are all about the strategy, and they feel deeply lost, confused and silenced by this.
So -- I wanted to share my thoughts on the soulful side of sales.
I drew 2 pictures to try and illustrate this concept.
Here we go - starting from the outer surface-most layer:
SHARING YOUR VALUE (EXTERNAL WORLD ACTION: SALES & MARKETING)
This is what we all love to focus on, at least at the start (and maybe for way too long). This is the pages, the words, the buttons, the perfectly arranged little pieces that we think we need to have. I know I personally fiddled with these things for over 5 years before I realized I needed to go deeper.
RECOGNIZING & OWNING YOUR VALUE (INNER WORLD - FIRST LAYER)
So - turns out you can't just set up some pretty pages and buttons and write some promo posts and expect the world to fall in your lap...when underneath you're freaking out not being sure about what you have to offer, and whether it's actually any good.
So the first layer of the "inner world of sales" is recognizing and owning your value. Seeing how much you know (even the parts you didn't know you knew, or totally take for granted) and really grasping that everything you've gathered in this life sums up to a sizable body of stuff which other people need, and which can really help them on their own journey. Seeing and owning this value is a big part of what I help my people do.
However - it's hard to actually truly own this is you don't have...
SELF LOVE (INNER WORLD - SECOND LAYER: AS DEEP AS MOST OF US EVER EXAMINE)
Ah yes, self-love. This term gets thrown around A LOT lately. Love yourself! Do self-love rituals! etc etc.
It's amazing, totally worthwhile and utterly important and I adore it - however - you can't just "DECIDE" to love yourself. I mean, maybe you can, but in my experience it has to go deeper than that. Fake-it-til-you-make-it only does so much, before doubt and friction starts to bubble up.
This is what I've discovered lies under self-love, and provides the foundation / justification for being able to love yourself...
SELF-ACCEPTANCE (INNER WORLD - ONE LAYER DEEPER)
Self-love just seems fake unless you truly accept yourself where you're at. The ugly parts, the jiggly parts, the awkward parts, the unripe parts.
Self-acceptance is one layer deeper because it's not just nice-pretty-fancy LOVE, it's meeting yourself where you're at and being deeply ok with it.
In fact, maybe this is what self-love ACTUALLY is...but I think many of us don't get that (I certainly didn't until recently). So, I still consider it to be a deeper layer, and if self-love doesn't feel good, drill down into the simple compassionate acceptance.
And yet, there's still one more deeper layer. If you still can't comfortably accept where you're at, look a little further to...
STEADFASTNESS (THE CORE OF IT)
This is the central core of all of this. Just being with yourself. Sitting with yourself. Saying "I don't necessarily accept or love any of this...but I'm not leaving."
It's about buying into this life and this body and being there with ourselves even for the uncomfortable parts, as long as they may last.
Experiencing ourselves as equally fragile-as-a-petal and strong-as-a-tiger in this human condition. Not needing to affirm or accept or love or anything...just being there. And being there to stay.
This is what a true mother does for a child. Even when things are ugly and disappointing and upsetting she is still there. And you can do this for yourself as an inner mother to your own inner little girl.
As you build up and out from the core, each of the outer layers can come to life and allow you to eventually fully share your services with the deeply rooted knowing that what you're doing is needed and you have a place here, and it is safe to be you and to take up space and to voice your truth, even if it's not always understood or approved or liked by others.
How does that feel? Can you see that maybe you've been focusing on one layer, when you need to go deeper? What are your thoughts on this??